My little girl has grown!

6 Jan marks the day of formal preschool education for Jan in SJCK. I think I was more excited than Jan about going to school - kinda evident when I spent quite a long time to iron her school uniform (probably longer than hb's work clothes) :P

Here's Jan posing outside the house before we left for school.



2 days of orientation went by smoothly and I even had the chance to excuse myself out of the class halfway on the 2nd day during snack time. The little girl was busy eating biscuits and drinking milo (food not encouraged by her grandma) and was happy that I was out of the way. I "spied" on her outside the class and saw her asking for a 2nd helping of biscuits! Faint!



I managed to drop her off in school this morning with ZERO crying and boy was I glad! While she was in school, I had the time to buy my favourite teh c from Ya Kun at Mt Faber SAFRA, did my time alone in Telok Blangah Hill Park, had a prayer walk at Henderson Waves, run some errands and then picked her up from school. God is good! :)

In the car, Jan started pestering me to go back to work. When asked for the reason why, she said she wants to take the school bus. Really dunno to be happy or upset!! Seems like the bus ride matters more than spending time with me... boo hoo!!

Nonetheless, thank God for His protection over Jan and praying for better days to come! :)

再见了，陈老师！

1月24日。我从妈妈那儿得知我敬爱的陈鸿珠老师已逝世。消息因为来得太突然，我一时间接受不了，仿佛有着一种晴天霹雳的感觉。老师怎么会一声不响就走了呢？是不是旧病复发了呢？为什么没通知我们呢？。。。心中的疑问不停地浮现。当晚，我梦到和老师一起坐在车后座，游览了我们以前的住宅区，景色却有别于当年。两人一路上默默无语，有着一种尽在不言中的感觉。

回想起来，我同老师已结识了22年。当时，我正在念小学5年级，而老师则刚从高中毕业。白天，她在宽中托儿所上班；晚上，她就给我和弟弟补习。老师给我的第一印象是非常平易近人、纯朴、温柔、同时也带着点儿傻气（因为眼镜超大！）。但是，相处久了才发现老师原来非常严格，生气的时候瞪着你的眼神会让你毛骨悚然。弟弟好几次因为调皮而时常被老师鞭打。弟弟不爽就给老师取了“陈红猪”这个外号。然而，老师总在鞭打之后又给弟弟涂上雪花膏，让鞭打的伤痕没那么明显，呈现了老师温柔体贴的一面。这或许就是所谓的打是疼、骂是爱！

老师非常用心地教课，也让我对华文有更浓厚的兴趣。那一年，我还在学校的作文比赛中得了第2名，那篇文章《钱的自述》也入选刊登在全国小学作文精选集里头。她也教了我怎么去记中文字的窍门- 就是在同别人说话时，用拇指在食指上把说的话写出来。

渐渐的，我们因为常到老师的家上补习课而与老师的家人建立起良好的关系。老师的家境并不富裕，但是兄弟姐妹之间的感情非常融洽，让我羡慕万分。后来，才得知老师想要赴台深造，所以省吃俭用，兼职当补习老师完成她的梦想。虽然老师的父母并不同意她出国深造，但老师非常坚持自己的理想。记得在机场送老师的时候，我非常舍不得。老师就像我的姐姐一样，是个学习的好榜样。当时我告诉自己，一定要象老师一样，考进大学。升上中2以后，我也开始给小学生补习来帮补家用。

老师虽然远在台湾求学，但总不忘给我们写信问好，还常把近照寄给我们。老师也从不忘记我和弟弟的生日，总会给我们寄生日卡。当老师交到男朋友时（也就是我们熟悉的师丈-云忠），她也很大方地把他俩的照片寄过来，给我们介绍。我们和老师的关系更是从师生变成了朋友。老师出殡后的那一天，我在家里搜到了老师在台湾买给我的书籍，上面有着老师的笔迹。这将是老师留给我最珍贵的纪念品吧！

上中学的时候，很幸运地和老师一家成了邻居。老师回国后，两人无聊的时候还常互相串门子，那是多美的回忆啊！随着年龄的增长，和老师接触的机会也逐渐减少。老师婚后搬进了婆家，每次见面也就是给她拜年的时候。偶尔在街上碰面，老师总爱问我找到男朋友了吗？是不是眼光太高啊？当我终于找到对象时，便带着“他”去给老师“审查”。老师仿佛是岳母见女婿，越看越有趣！庆幸的是老师后来不仅参加了我的婚宴，也见到了我的女儿。去年3月份的时候，我们举家去探访老师。见到老师时非常高兴，犹如回到从前串门子的那种感觉，老师也不忘给我们一些教导孩子的贴士。到了该回家的时候还有几许的依依不舍，但却万万也没想到那竟然是我最后一次和老师见面了！老师在6月期间到新加坡伊丽莎白医院做例行检查后曾到我家做客，还带了一箱的礼物给我的小宝贝。只可惜她来的时候我正在上班，所以没机会见面。

1月27日。我们一家带着沉重的心情，回到新山去见老师最后一面。看到老师的遗照时，还是记忆中那璀璨以及和蔼可亲的笑容。当我去瞻仰老师的遗容时，却差点都认不出她了。老师因为癌细胞扩散到肝脏，脸显得浮肿，脸色也变黑了。眼泪不经意地落下，心中的遗憾、惋惜及愧疚感跟着涌上来。随后，老师的母亲招待了我们，向我们述说了老师突发的病情。老师后来因为接受化疗，嘴里长了许多溃疡，头发也随着脱落。在不能忍受疼痛使，要求家人送她到新加坡看医生，却在经过关卡的时候病逝了。一只手的拳头还在紧握着 - 想必老师走的时候放不下的应该就是云忠和年仅12岁的儿子-翊轩吧！听了之后，能感受到老师所承受的痛与不舍。但老师即使已病危，却再次叮咛家人不能通知任何人，以免让他人操心。老师就是这种性格，处处为他人着想！唯一的安慰便是老师终于脱离苦海，再也不会被可怕的癌症病魔纠缠。

老师出殡当天，来了许多在籍学生、已毕业的学生、同事、亲戚和朋友，场面非常壮观。老师在世的时间虽短暂，却已桃李满天下。大家都带着沉重的心情送老师走完最后的这一段路。想到将再也见不到老师时，眼泪便不由自主地流下。到了火化场，当和尚诵经完毕后，有人喊出“起立、行礼、谢谢陈鸿珠老师！”。的确，正所谓“一日为师、终身为母”，谢谢您老师！

火化场的门关上了。火化的仪式也完毕了。曲终人散，望着翊轩拿着妈妈的灵牌那悲伤的神情和彷徨失措的表情，心中不禁阵阵作痛。真希望翊轩能早日振作起来，永记妈妈的教诲，千万不要让她失望！

老师的逝世给了我许多启示。
1. 生命的长短并不重要 - 重要的是活着的时候能为社会做出多少贡献、给身边的人带来多大的影响。

2. 珍惜身边你所爱的人 - 无论是一句慰问、鼓励甚至是道歉，哪怕是一通电话、一则简讯或是一封电邮。不要等到失去以后才来后悔，留下遗憾。

3. 传福音的工作不能怠慢 - 必须抓紧机会，否则就来不及了！真希望老师曾经接受过福音，至少来日我回到天国时还能与她再次相聚。

安息吧！我的老师、我的朋友。。。

爱你的tupai

Taming Monkeys

This week we have been subscribing more to the old wisdom of "spare
the rod and spoil the child". We started drilling into Jan that she
will get spanked if she disobey us.

Why this week? Partly it's because she started school again, and it's
very challenging every morning getting her to class on time if she
refuses to eat breakfast quickly or let us brush her teeth. In
addition, we also wanted to greet her elders when she sees them.

There was definitely resistance in the beginning, and much tears and
some frustration. But after a week, we have made good progress. Jan is
noticeably more obedient now, and understands the consequence of
disobedience. She has also started greeting uncles and aunties when
she sees them.

A pat on our backs! But I reckon this as the start of the long
journey of child discipline.

A key goal of parenting

I believe that one key goal of parenting is to let our children achieve independence. My interpretation of independence, is when my children is able to provide for herself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Hmm....these four dimensions resonates well with the heart, soul, mind and strength dimensions in Mark 12:30!

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength"

Above: After much effort, Jan finally drinks milk from her own bottle by herself. Yet another step towards independence.

Heart - emotions! Be able be the master over common emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, etc

Soul - spiritual life. Establish her own personal relationship with God. Know how to continually deepen that relationship. Also develop her own value system.

Mind - thinking skills. Problem solving skills. Decision making skills.

Strength - physical well-being. This requires her to be able to earn her own living and know how to take care of her own health.


Wow....this is complex stuff, but writing them out helped me think through this topic more.

One last area is motivated by the 7 Habits book. Besides independence, the author also stressed the importance of interdependence--the ability to create synergies with people around us. So interdepedence should be another key goal of parenting!

Share you experience of how you had progressed towards these two goals!

Jan's Naughty Spot

Jan is fast approaching her 2.5-year-old mark, and through the past few months, we have witnessed the infamous "terrible-twos" in Jan.

She is a lot more insistent on doing things her way, and would whine or throw tantrums to get her way. She also says "no" very frequently. It often made our lives miserable as simple tasks like meals and milk turned into long-drawn battles.

Fortunately, I had a copy of Jo Frost's "Ask Supernanny". Jo Frost, if you recall, is the supernanny on a popular reality-TV series where she is called in to bring order to families under attack from unruly kids.

Jo Frost finds the technique "Naughty Spot" the most effective. She didn't invent the technique, as it also often known as the "Time-out" technique, but her high recommendation got us to decide to give it a try.

The amazing outcome was it works but we still don't understand why it works. For example, we would be feeding her food, and then when she refused, we would take her away to her naughty spot. Then when she returns, she would obediently finish her food...! And sometimes she would even ask to be brought to the naughty spot....

Amazing stuff...do give it a try with your toddler. Might even work with your spouse =)

Above: Jan posing with her artificial smile (that's what you get when you ask her to say "cheese")

Jan in Disney

We went to Hong Kong earlier this month, and we decided to pay a visit to the disneyland there since we had not visited it before.

It was a nice hideaway from the busyness of Hong Kong, and thankfully the park was not crowded when we were there and the scorching summer heat had just departed.

Jan enjoyed many of the rides there, but I suspect it was just another amusement park to her as she wasn't that into disney characters yet. I suspect the "disney magic" worked more strongly in my wife...