A key goal of parenting

I believe that one key goal of parenting is to let our children achieve independence. My interpretation of independence, is when my children is able to provide for herself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Hmm....these four dimensions resonates well with the heart, soul, mind and strength dimensions in Mark 12:30!

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength"

Above: After much effort, Jan finally drinks milk from her own bottle by herself. Yet another step towards independence.

Heart - emotions! Be able be the master over common emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, etc

Soul - spiritual life. Establish her own personal relationship with God. Know how to continually deepen that relationship. Also develop her own value system.

Mind - thinking skills. Problem solving skills. Decision making skills.

Strength - physical well-being. This requires her to be able to earn her own living and know how to take care of her own health.


Wow....this is complex stuff, but writing them out helped me think through this topic more.

One last area is motivated by the 7 Habits book. Besides independence, the author also stressed the importance of interdependence--the ability to create synergies with people around us. So interdepedence should be another key goal of parenting!

Share you experience of how you had progressed towards these two goals!

Jan's Naughty Spot

Jan is fast approaching her 2.5-year-old mark, and through the past few months, we have witnessed the infamous "terrible-twos" in Jan.

She is a lot more insistent on doing things her way, and would whine or throw tantrums to get her way. She also says "no" very frequently. It often made our lives miserable as simple tasks like meals and milk turned into long-drawn battles.

Fortunately, I had a copy of Jo Frost's "Ask Supernanny". Jo Frost, if you recall, is the supernanny on a popular reality-TV series where she is called in to bring order to families under attack from unruly kids.

Jo Frost finds the technique "Naughty Spot" the most effective. She didn't invent the technique, as it also often known as the "Time-out" technique, but her high recommendation got us to decide to give it a try.

The amazing outcome was it works but we still don't understand why it works. For example, we would be feeding her food, and then when she refused, we would take her away to her naughty spot. Then when she returns, she would obediently finish her food...! And sometimes she would even ask to be brought to the naughty spot....

Amazing stuff...do give it a try with your toddler. Might even work with your spouse =)

Above: Jan posing with her artificial smile (that's what you get when you ask her to say "cheese")

Jan in Disney

We went to Hong Kong earlier this month, and we decided to pay a visit to the disneyland there since we had not visited it before.

It was a nice hideaway from the busyness of Hong Kong, and thankfully the park was not crowded when we were there and the scorching summer heat had just departed.

Jan enjoyed many of the rides there, but I suspect it was just another amusement park to her as she wasn't that into disney characters yet. I suspect the "disney magic" worked more strongly in my wife...

Jan started school!

Since Jan turned two, we noticed that she had gotten increasingly restless at home, most likely bored by the lack of new stimulus and people to play with. As such, we began our hunt for a school for Jan so that she can get some regular playmates.

We finally decided to put her to the Montessori at Tiong Bahru plaza, based on friends' recommendation as well as the school's convenient location.

In her first week of school, Jan was reluctant to join her new friends. She gave all kinds of excuses to not to go--want to sleep, need to go wee wee, need to go poo poo. She cried when we left the school. One of the days in the first week, she cried from the start of the session to the end (about one and a half hour).

Her second week was much better, though she would still give some of the excuses, and would repeatedly comfort herself by reminding herself that granny would be picking her later. Miraculously, towards the end of the second week, the excuses disappeared, and she was running into the classroom by herself! The teachers commented that Jan adjusted quicker compared to the average child, most took two weeks to settle in. Thank God for that, we were really happy to see that she enjoyed the sessions.

Konichiwa!

The #1 question we got over the past few days was "How was your Japan trip?"; the #2 question was "You went to Japan?"

Yes, we were in Japan for six days, and it was really a very last minute trip.  An original work trip to Japan got canceled due to H1N1. We were disappointed both because we had already made arrangements on taking leave from work and also we had built up an expectation to see Japan.  So when the H1N1 situation turned for the better, we resurrected our Japan plans--this time as a family holiday and not for work--bought air tickets, booked accommodations, packed and left the day after.  Definitely the most last minute trip for the both of us!

Right: Me doing last minute planning of the trip.  Not sure what my girl was reading... 

For our lazy readers, a one-liner description of our trip would be: good but tiring, too short. 

Good because Tokyo definitely has a lot to offer -- interesting and very different culture, many types of food to try out, lots of shopping, numerous outdoor options and a great chance to practice Japanese for people learning the language!

Tiring because everyday we had to lug around our 12+kg girl, along with her meals, change of clothes, water bottle, wet tissue, etc etc...and we also had our SLR camera with us.  I was surprised at how sore my body was at the end of each day...think hiking was less strenuous.  Moreover, everyday we need to feed her milk, feed her food during mealtimes, shower her at night and put her to bed, wash her bottles, pack-unpack her stuff. Whew!

 

Top: Me with my standard gear -- Jan's bag and the camera bag

Left: PT had to carry Jan for much part of day, esp when Jan naps

Too short not only because Tokyo and its surrounding has much to offer, but also the meager number of usable hours each day.  This trip gave me a more realistic expectation of how much parents with young children can do each day.  I have learnt to plan my days to just focus on one or two highlights, strategically plan rest stops and include lots of time buffer.

When I started writing this blog entry, I was planning to cover the highlights from the entire trip.  However, as I went through the photos, I found that there were just too many things to talk about, and if I were to cover all of them, this entry would probably sit in my laptop for a very very long time.  So this is the introduction to an upcoming series of entries that will talk about the interesting sights and sounds we encountered during this trip.  Stay tuned!